The good folks at CollegeHumor.com have teamed up with the most freshest eau de toilet of them all, Tag Bodyspray, to create the “America’s Hottest Girl 2007” bracket.

The 64 girls are broken down into four divisions—North, South, East, West. With a little “research” I determined that there can be more than one girl from a given school. Outrageous! Each girl provides a little portfolio of pics, some of which appear to be professionally done (unfair advantage). They also answer a series of classic “college humor” questions like “What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever eaten?” and “What song do you like to sing in the shower?” Essentially, searching through the brackets, which suffer from horrible load times (harkening back to the old days of looking at “x-rated” content on dial-up connections), is like leafing through a second-rate Maxim, but without the articles about surviving a bear attack or gangsters in Rio de Janeiro who have killed loads of people.

Needless to say, there are a lot of psychology and communications majors, and answers to the question “What is your favorite John Candy movie?” are way off base. Most girls are either incredibly predictable (Cool Runnings) or absurdly “highbrow” (JFK). Armed and Dangerous, ladies? Who is Harry Crumb?!?!

Voters can set up fantasy brackets and potentially win $1000. There is a bit of a flaw in a system where you predict results that you also vote on. I am willing to overlook this, however, because it is also the case for the betting service I hope to start where people can place wagers on reality TV shows like American Idol.

This would be much better if it was on Facebook and started with school-wide contest that then moved on to conference tourneys. If Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg should want to return to his days of “Hot or Not” contests, he could probably code those brackets like it’s nothing!

In the end, College Humor has created yet another way for students to be “so college,” helping to spawn a generation of kids who love viral videos of dudes throwing up, get all their sports opinions from Bill Simmons, and think it’s hilarious to quote Anchorman and say, “That’s what she said.”

If forced, I would probably put my money on Ashley from Hofstra, who seems to have really had some nice photo shoots in her day.

Peep the interview my bro and I did with Interweb celebrity and all-around clown Rob Heppler!

Rob Heppler: Oh, Oh, Oh It's MAGIC!
Thursday - February 22, 2007

— by Arnold T. Pants and Gritz


When Jay-Z is talking to buyers in a glass Rocawear enclosure, Lupe Fiasco is checking out next year's LRG collection and Nick Cannon is rocking a DJ set for PNB a few booths down the line, you know you can only be at Magic, the country's biggest trade show for fashion and apparel. Filling the gigantic Las Vegas convention center twice a year, Magic brings out hordes of buyers, sellers, celebrities, and assorted power players from the industry to set the scene for the coming season.

After taking a quick lap of the women's clothing section to stare at models, Ballerstatus bee-lined for the "Streetwear" area to find out who will be doing it big on the urban scene in 2007. Given that this year's Magic show overlapped with NBA All-Star Weekend and Chinese New Year, the hip-hop world was out in full force to show love and show out.

To get an insider's view of the moves being made at Magic and the current state of the streetwear game, Ballerstatus caught up with sneaker aficionado, Internet celebrity, and host of the "Weekly Drop" podcast (www.weeklydrop.com), Mr. Rob Heppler. When he's not chopping it up with Bun B, partying with streetwear legends, or adding a little Massachusetts flavor to DUB magazine, you can find Heppler holding court at New England's illest sneaker spot -- CONCEPTS in Cambridge, Mass.

Ballerstatus.com: Let's pop things off with a little info about the "Weekly Drop." How did it start and what are the intentions of the podcast?

Rob Heppler: It started early November 2005, I had been writing for various sneaker magazines and blogging. I had met Jeff Carvalho at the Sneaker Pimps tour in 2004 and we kept in touch. One day he came to me and said, "Let's do a podcast!" I had no clue what that was, but he said he had all the equipment, all I had to do was talk. He showed up at my apartment in Pepperell, Mass. with some mics, a laptop, and a case of Corona and there you go. I think the initial intention was to record the conversations Jeff and I were having about sneakers, but it grew from there with the explosion of the streetwear scene.

Ballerstatus.com: What does Magic mean to streetwear?

Rob Heppler: Magic seems like a high school reunion of brands where all the coolness comes together. No money is wasted on luxurious booths; the clothes and personalities behind them speak for themselves. Magic also provides a forum for all the other "mainstream brands" to copy and bite from our small community.

Ballerstatus.com: Most people get into streetwear via skate or hip-hop culture, and it seems in current trends the lines are blurring into what some are labeling "skurban." How do you feel about the duality of the streetwear scene?

Rob Heppler: I love it. It really has no rules. Ten years ago, a dude with more than one pair of kicks could be called a fag. Streetwear is like everyday high fashion, and for now -- depending on where you live (and your internet connection) -- you may only see one other kid at the mall with an all-over print hoodie. I think as soon as it's fully mainstream, it will morph into something else. Hip-hop, skate, you see John Mayer up on Honyee... this scene is a melting pot of genres.

Ballerstatus.com: Obviously many kids live a blurred lifestyle, yet not one always captured by the clothing market. Sedgwick & Cedar had the all-over print hoody with the old school glasses, which is kind of funny because we all know Pharrell has been flipping the all-over print stuff for a while now, so it seems to have come full circle from a hip-hop/skate influenced world brand, to a company trying to rep for the roots of hip-hop. You have any thoughts on the growth of the market, your own version of streetwear history?

Rob Heppler: Yeah, it is nothing new. Louis Vuitton made the all-over print over a 100 years ago, and whenever someone bites that, it's an instant winner. Look at the pajamas you wore as a kid. All-over print. Kanye acts like he invented vintage polo, when all he did was not throw out the sweater that was gay 20 years back!

Ballerstatus.com: Bun B is a good friend of the "Weekly Drop," which is somewhat surprising to be honest. How did you guys get involved in interviewing Bun and supporting UGK, and vice versa? Is he attracted to the almost Dapper Dan stylings of the new breed of American streetwear?

Rob Heppler: Bun is awesome at life. He straight up called us one day and left a message on our listener line! We called him back and in one week, we were up in Brattle studio in NYC interviewing him while he finished recording the new UGK album. Bun has transcended generations being in the game for over 20 years. Why do you think Jay-z pays him homage?! He is the real deal and is on top of his fashion game, as well as being the most humble dude with a quarter mil on his neck.

Ballerstatus.com: Where do you think the future of streetwear is going?

Rob Heppler: I think its going to Macys. The people who say that they ain't in it for the money already have money, and it's easy to say you want to stay small when you're on a yacht in the Mediterranean. First time Mark Ecko offers to write a check, these dudes will take it and run to the next screen printing gig.

Ballerstatus.com: There is a lot of nostalgia-based design, especially in American streetwear. Do you see this continuing? Do you feel this is detrimental to contemporary culture, sort of suggesting that "we have had a golden era" and your sh-- just doesn't compare?

Rob Heppler: I think it's the "remember these" disease. Movies, clothes, video games... it's a contest to see who can pull off the most obscure reference (Jolt Cola).

Ballerstatus.com: But do you think there is a lack of creativity in the urban design game now with a lot of brands flipping classic commercial designs? Who impressed you at Magic in terms of bringing something new to the table?

Rob Heppler: Undercrown had quality...like their clothes, sneakers, and furniture. For once, it wasn't the same t-shirt, hoodie and New Era. Addict was sick, and of course, The Hundreds, Crooks, Mighty Healthy, King Stampede, and the cult classic Greedy Genius.

Ballerstatus.com: Who had the hottest models at Magic? We thought Avirex...

Rob Heppler: [laughs] Dude, I was sooo f---ing busy... and hung over. Kimora Simmons was pretty hot, and Hustler always throws together a decent booth.

Ballerstatus.com: What are your thoughts on "Hype?"

Rob Heppler: I love it. Hype got me, then I tried to get to the roots of it. Now I'm learning how to make hype.

Ballerstatus.com: In many ways, it's pretty basic, and almost brilliant, underground marketing. How did you get involved with HypeBeast.com? How does "Weekly Drop" play a role in helping brands build a following?

Rob Heppler: I was checking HB since day one, and I would email Kev things I thought were good enough to post. He would tell me to just post it in the forum and if it was sick enough, it would make the front page. So every day I would post and I made friends with the other kids in the forums. I also made a lot of enemies! Then Kev starting letting me post on the front page and gave me the blog.

Ballerstatus.com: What do you think the Internet has done for the streetwear game? Is it inauthentic that a lot of gear that grows up organically from a particular scene is being rocked by a bunch of dudes whose only real scene is in online blogs and message boards, or is it a good thing that a kid from Des Moines can see what's going on in Shibuya and want to be a part of it?

Rob Heppler: The Internet is so important to streetwear. We should be calling this sh-- Internet wear! Or Web gear! I think more kids are wearing this sh-- in their house and reselling, than are getting champagne poured on them in clubs!

Ballerstatus.com: Other than John Varvato's chucks, what kicks are popping of in 2007?

Rob Heppler: Loving the animal print AM95 and AM87. Jordans, Jordans, and more Jordans.

Ballerstatus.com: What's next for Weekly Drop and Rob Heppler?

Rob Heppler: We want to be on Sirius satellite radio, maybe get our own show. Everyone says that, but then I'd have to move. I'd like to start stacking chips, Drive an M6... So, whatever I have to do to get there, I hope I'm on the right path.

Don't worry, this won't be ridiculously long like Bill Simmons' article, which I guess was pretty on point. But on the real, this dude can't even get into Pure because he's "wearing some Pumas"? Simmons may chill with David Stern and have thousands and thousands more readers than me, but your boy gets it CRACKIN!!!!! (By the way, Pumas are exactly the types of kicks I would expect this fool to be rocking. He was probably a dingus back in the day but now that he pops off on the 'net he is like, "Yo, how can I be cool? I will wear trendy shoes like Pumas!" Do I wish I had it poppin' on the Inter-web? Yes. Do I? In a way. Would I rock Pumas that weren't old-school Cells, Clydes, or indoor soccer shoes? No. Do I want to start beef with someone online for no reason? Yes, and next I will go at Bol from XXL.)

Enough of that. Here are some of my thoughts on ASG in Vegas:

ASG HIGHLIGHTS

1) Gilbert's trampoline dunk: Apparently Shaq bet him $100,000 for his charity to drop that ridiculous between-the-legs jammy off the tramp. It looked almost as dangerous and potentially career-ending as LeBron's misguided off the backboard attempt, but he claims he used to jump on the tramp all the time at Golden State. Amazing. Someone should have rocked that during the dunk competition. One of the main problems with the dunk comp is that anything that would be cool and new is denied by the NBA, like Nate Robinson jumping over a Playboy bunny or Dwight Howard bringing out an actual 12-foot hoop. Why!?!?

2) Shaq's dancing: He may legitimately be the best dancer I have seen since Usher.

3) Sir Charles vs. Dick Bevetta footrace: That was just hilarious, particularly Dick's awkwardly intense style, but please Sahib, let's not beat around the pink elephant in the arena. What was up with that Cash Money smacker he laid on Barkley's lips!?!? Are they trying to become the new faces of the Snickers campaign? It is clear that when Sir Charles is hungry, he never waits. Would you like some chocolate with those nuts, Dick?

No John Amaechi. No Tim Hardaway.

Least favorite moment: Kobe visibly trying to put the nail in the coffin for MVP as the game wound down. Everytime I am on the verge of liking him he reminds me that he is a huge a-hole.

BEST CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS

Suge Knight: If I learned one thing at ASG, it is that Suge Knight gets it CRACKIN. Chilling in the Palms casino and registration area on Thursday night was like a NBA player safari but everyone was pretty unassuming until Suge walked in and made the spot pop. I am surprised that so many people know what he looks like or would be willing to stand close to him. I wonder if he had anything to do with shit popping off literally the next (k)night.

50 Cent: No one had a bigger entourage, no one had bigger earings, and no one walked as fast. I got caught up in a crowd passing him and we brushed shoulders. I had three thoughts: 1) Wow, I am much taller than this dude. 2) I should yell CURRRTTTTIIISSSSSS! 3) I wonder what you are really doing right now, 50.

Stuart Scott: Last year on the way home from Houston he was on our flight to Connecticut and had some words with our man Marc the Jeweler, who apparently made him some earings. This year he was outside of the Palms hiding insanely in a small crevice in the facade of the casino.

Adam Morrison: Diabetic legend was getting it crackin in the club after the rookie game.

Ray Allen: Dude had on the most outrageously wack golfing clothes of all time. I considered confronting him about the time he said he would give me an autograph at the premiere of He Got Game and then walked away with some broads, but I decided to let sleeping dog's lie.

Ben Baller: Needless to say, Ben Baller shines mad hard. His chain is about 10 inches high and depicts California with an "ocean" of blue diamonds and a huge rock representing LA. Ben Balliiiiiinnnn!

Pat Garrity: This man loves All-Star Weekend!

Biggest Disappointment: Not seeing any known sluts like Vida Guerra or Melyssa Ford. My man Adam said that at ASG in Atlanta he met hookers who had traveled from Baltimore just to hook for the weekend in the A. I assumed that in Vegas the stakes would be raised enough to bring out the nation's finest.

GRITZ'S GUIDE TO VEGAS: BALLING ON A BUDGET

You can easily drop ridiculous guap in Vegas, particularly if you gamble like an idiot and insist on partying mad hard. However, it is possible to have a pretty nice time with limited funds. Here is Gritz's guide to a reasonable Vegas weekend:

Friday: Arrive in the evening and stay in a normal hotel off the Strip. Take the monorail to the Venetian and learn some interesting facts about Vegas en route (did you know the population has doubled every 10 years since 1940? Soon there will be a trillion people!?!?!?). Explore the Venetian, a truly spectacular casino! Take a cab to a strip club or Mexican restaurant somewhere else. Go to bed.

Saturday: Wake up and enjoy a really fresh coffee. You've earned it! Find a nice sports book, maybe Caesar's or MGM, and watch college basketball all day. For every 4 free Miller Lites you drink, allow yourself to bet $20 on a game, thus making it infinitely more exciting to watch. Try to sneak out to a hotel pool for a bit to combat the effects of weirdly oxygenated air and poor lighting, and also to hopefully see some tatas. Now is your time to splurge a bit. Enjoy a nice meal from one of Vegas' many celebrity chefs. Go outside of Harrah's and cop a half-yard glass of Sex on the Beach for $25. Go see the Beatles Love cirque du soleil show, a truly wonderful spectacle! Go to bed early.

Sunday: Fresh coffee. Walk through the Wynn. Go to a $20 buffet. Leave immediately.

I am in Vegas, city of huge stuff, broken dreams, and fake versions of real things (like the Eiffel Tower and boobs). Today my brother and I weaseled our way into the Magic trade show, where buyers preview next year's gear for sellers, celebrities, and an assortment of other power players. The show fills the convention center (i.e. it's absolutely massive), but needless to say the "Street Wear" section is where everything pops off. Every major label(Rocawear, LRG, Phat Farm, And1, etc.) has a big setup, as well as scores of smaller, more exlusive brands. Dudes are flossing in by far the most aggressive gear you have ever seen (as my brother noted, many people look like "the future.") Around every other corner is a chick straight out of a rap video handing you something free. Basically, it is awesome.

The highlight of the afternoon was hollering at none other than the world's most hilarious man, NICK CANNON! He was DJing in the PNB section while a gaggle of Wildin' Out girls danced in front of him. I gave him a pound and said, "Yo Nick, you're the funniest dude on TV," and he put his hand to his heart and said, "I appreciated that, man." Real talk. I also took a nice shot with Lupe Fiasco and saw Cee Lo, Big Boi, Murphy Lee, Gene Simmons (looking insane), Dame Dash, and various streetwear legends. Stay tuned for the photo blog, where you will see President Rufff with Mr. Cartoon and Alchemist. (He also insisted on taking a picture with the Avirex girl who he claimed was the "hottest girl I've seen in real life.") Basically, she had enormous tatas.

One of the best parts about the show is that you see how all of the most aggressive "hoodwear" clothing lines have conservative looking Japanese businessmen behind them. It seems that they are the new Jews.

Had a pleasant evening enjoying a Smithwicks with Pa Gritz and watching Good Will Hunting in my pants. Just went to bed like that, didn't even bother taking them off. Yeahhh, Gritz ain't gotta answer to no one.

Tonight I'll be attending a cancer benefit at Mohegan Sun with David Cone, Yogi Berra, and Mike & the Mad Dog, to name a few. Gonna be a Mohegan Sun day, bloody Sun day. Might pop by Bono's house on the way up. I heard he lives in the area.* (Maybe that's why he's always got those bloody sunglasses on!?!?)

           - Boss Blog Barbiarian

* Is that a lie? Yes, I think it is.